“What the fuck do you mean he hit me with not one, not two but TEN doses of dragonsbane at once?!” I roared, nostrils flaring. “And into my eye no less!? He must want me fucking blind, that’s gotta be it.”
[Sapphyra, your stress is disrupting the children’s development. Breathe Bitch.]
“Then tell the people who keep stressing me out to fucking STOP!” flames licked out from my mouth as I glared at Guy. He shrank back at my anger.Betrayal was not the right word for what I felt. This went much deeper.
“Sapph…”
“No, don’t you dare Sapph me!” I sat up in bed, wincing at a sharp pain flaring in my back. “You knew. You knew he dosed me with that much dragonsbane and kept it to yourself?”
“It’s not that simple.” He started, standing firm. “I pushed him to tell you but the timing was never right.”
“Damn him, Guy, what about you? Why couldn’t you just tell me, huh?” I wanted to push him down a flight of stairs…and then lock myself in a padded cell for thinking so cruelly of him. Guy wasn’t just my mate, he was Wyatt’s too so of course he would try to help us both.
Unfortunately for him, his help has done nothing but tear us all further apart.
Guy clenched his fists a couple times and then started pacing the room.
“Think about what he just went through angel!” He insisted. “Even before that, we’d just gotten you relaxed after tearing up the city. After finding out Rupert is your son and Wyatt’s ex kidnapped him and raised him to fucking spite you. You’d just found out that you were pregnant too.”
He stopped and turned to me, eyes wet and shiny.
“It was one thing after another angel…but I swear to you, I was going to tell you.”
“When?” I crossed my arms, hardening my heart. Tears can’t sway me this time, and as much as I loved Guy's big understanding heart, that wouldn't be enough here.
“I don’t know.” He was honest but there was something else going on here too. Something below the bombshell. I could feel it buzzing like a swarm ready to strike.
“Mm. I see.” Laying back on my bed, I closed my eyes and breathed in then out deep.
“I see?”
“What else do you want from me, Guy? I can’t exactly throw you through a wall right now can I? My health is the utmost concern here.” I so desperately wanted to hurt him, hurt Wyatt and anyone else who knew about this but I had to wait. My time would come, eventually.
Until then, somehow, I had to maintain my peace.
I heard him take a few steps towards my bed but my tail caught him in the stomach, tip pressed hard against his belly button.
“No. I don’t want you anywhere near me right now.” My shoulders shook, my chest ached because even though the words were true, I still wanted him.
Why am I like this?
I heard him swallow hard. Part of me hopes he chokes on the fucking guilt.
“If that’s what you need.” He murmured a soft I love you and waited.
When I finally heard his footsteps recede into the distance, I let the tears flow. Gripping the bed adjacent to me with my tail, I tossed it at a wall, smashing it and the wall to pieces as I screamed in agony. This time I’m not ashamed of my pain. I earned every single drop today and for no other reason than loving someone the universe told me I had to.
No more.
Fuck the goddess, the universe and everyone who’s ever hurt me becasue they thought it was best for me. I know what’s best for me dammit!
“System, how are the babies now?” That’s something I should be focusing on more.
[Stress levels are low enough that you’re not in the danger zone at the moment. Still, the men in your life are all assholes. Well meaning…but still shitty.]
“Hey, only I can call them shitty.”
[But am I wrong though?]
I didn’t answer her. She knows she’s not wrong.
Groaning, I settle into the off-white sheets and try to let sleep take me. Everytime I close my eyes I just see more memories of Wyatt and Guy flooding me. Never the bad times, only the good, because why not, right?
Was that me or was that our mate bond screaming at me to go to them?
Speaking of mate bond, for all the good it did for us during that fight with Rupert—it did nothing for the trauma happening to my body right now. How the hell does that make sense?
“System, I can’t sleep.” I mumbled, turning on my side. I rub my belly absentmindedly, wishing for the well-being of my eggs.
Eggs…oh god. I must be in full lizard brain mode.
[Want me to sing you a lullaby? Can’t promise you I’ll sound like Jennifer Hudson but—-]
“No, that’s fine. I just thought maybe you could talk to my dragon side or something, see if you two can work out custody of my body maybe?”
[Like we hadn’t already tried that? Or did you forget about becoming a kaiju already?]
I snorted and wrinkled my nose. “How could I? Everytime I look at the city, that's all I see. The destruction from not just me but my family too.” So much to rebuild. Buildings yes but trust as well. People trusted Rupert and look where that’s gotten them? How do I know that if I gain their trust I won’t become a menace just like he was?
[Come on mama, Rupert's actions aren’t your fault and you’re doing a disservice to the little ones you carry every time you think that way.]
Stray tears strolled down my face and I wiped them away, letting a sob wrack my chest.
“I know. I just wanna be a good mom. I wanted to be a good wife and friend and an amazing superhero…why do I keep fucking up all the time?”
[Sapph, baby it’s not really you. Look, I wish I could say I understand why humans and human-adjacents take the most dramatic path but I don’t. All I know is that you all have this saying, something about the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Everything they’ve ever done was for what they thought would be best for you. They do love you, they’re just awful at showing it.]
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
[But it means they’re human. To be human is to fuckup. I wouldn’t know though, I’m flawless as hell.]
I snorted and chuckled.
“You’re something alright.” My eyelids started closing during our chat but before I fell asleep I made sure to say one single prayer for the bastards who didn’t deserve it.
I had to do it. Even though I hated her and everything she stood for…I’m out of options on how to protect these idiots.
Phereda, if you’re listening to me, please look out for Wyatt, Rupert and Guy. They’re idiots but two of them are about to be in major trouble and for once…I won’t be able to come save them.
So please…don’t let them die before the babies are born.
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