“Seungbeom-ah!”
“Hyung!”
My body fell downward with a thud, crashing into the stage equipment before plummeting headfirst to the floor.
‘…What happened?’
With a dazed mind, I rolled my eyes and saw the stage I had been standing on just moments earlier. I must have fallen from there.
There was a slight burning sensation on my back, and my wrist throbbed with the dull ache of a mild sprain.
If I had fallen from somewhere high, like a stage lift, I might have been seriously injured. But this was just a stage for a music show; it wasn’t high enough to break an arm or a leg, even if I recklessly jumped off it. If I had to describe it, it was more like tumbling down a short flight of stairs.
“Kyaaaahhh!”
“Oh no!”
“We have to get ready for the next stage quickly, so please clear the area! Please move! Staff, please guide everyone!”
“Please, just let us fans properly check whether Seungbeom is hurt or not! Isn’t that what should come first? We’re worried! We’re scared! Hic…….”
It seemed the atmosphere had already worsened beyond repair.
What should have been a room filled with joyful cheers and fan chants had turned into a chaotic mess, like a noisy marketplace. Some fans burst into tears, while others angrily protested to the staff.
“Member…….”
“…Please! Hurry!”
“Seungbeom-ah…….”
The ringing in my ears was so intense that I couldn’t make out the exact words.
All I could hear were sharp, tearing sounds, and my rapidly beating heart showed no sign of calming down. No, far from getting better, my condition was steadily getting worse.
‘Seo Yuseong…….’
“Hyung, take a slow breath in … and then breathe it out.”
“There’s no one here but me. It’s okay.”
I slowly replayed Seo Yuseong’s familiar, comforting voice in my head—the words I’d heard so many times and that had always helped me in moments like this—and absentmindedly muttered those words to myself.
‘…What about the broadcast?’
[“Yes, there seems to have been a small accident. Hanna-ssi, who are the people we’ll be meeting next?”]
[“Ah, Daewon-ssi, don’t you smell the scent of flowers drifting through the air? The song that sparked a huge reaction on SNS as soon as it was released…….”]
I could hear the MCs immediately proceeding to the next stage.
The production team seemed to have switched the camera and quickly took control of the situation as soon as I fell off the stage. Since it was a live broadcast, the show naturally carried on ‘as if nothing had happened‘.
[I heard that Seo Yutae was absent, so today they performed with only six members again]
[Why does Seo Yutae always have something come up that keeps him from performing? I mean, if his father keeps causing trouble, shouldn’t he handle it properly and focus on group activities? As the leader, he’s supposed to be responsible and support the members, so why is he just being a burden instead?]
[ └ I stayed silent because I didn’t want to cause unnecessary division in the fandom, but I really can’t tolerate this anymore. How on earth is he supposed to handle that father of his… If his father were the kind of person who’d just go, “Yes, I will behave, my precious son ♥” after some persuasion, he wouldn’t have caused all this in the first place. Honestly, at this point, why don’t you just tell him to die? A member is going through a hard time. If you’re just going to be selfish and care only about your own kid, then stop using Yutae’s songs altogether. You take all the good stuff, and yet you still have the nerve to complain, what the lol. I’m so sick of all these toxic fans and akgaes run wild in Sera’s space…]
[ └ It’s just that the fandom is so big, all kinds of people end up gathering… It’s the same in all other fandoms, really]
‘But this is a live broadcast…….’
Though I felt some relief that the broadcast was somehow continuing, I was also consumed by self-loathing for having ruined such an important stage for the members. But even that emotion felt like a luxury I couldn’t afford right now, so I quickly pressed my damp hand to the floor and pushed myself up with all the strength left in my arms.
‘…I have to get up quickly.’
Seeing me collapsed on the floor, the fans seemed to have fallen into total panic. I must have frightened them, and staying down like this would only make their anxiety worse. I had to get out of here, quickly.
‘To proceed with the broadcast properly, we’ll need to clear the stage quickly.’
I couldn’t inconvenience the show any further.
My numb limbs felt weak, and I couldn’t put much strength into them.
Am I like this because I couldn’t breathe properly earlier?
When my upper body, barely supported by one arm, collapsed several times, the previously chaotic murmurs merged into a clear and anxious chorus of “Oh-oh-oh”, all directed at me.
[I really like them, but this constant anxiety while fangirling is making me lose interest little by little……]
[I’m sorry, but I fangirl to be happy. Even if you’re going through a hard time, I wish you wouldn’t show your struggles too openly. These days, there aren’t many true fans left in the idol world anyway… It all just feels so exhausting]
[Does this make any sense? The whole fandom is walking on eggshells and trembling in fear because everyone’s scared Seo Yutae’s father might cause trouble again? If Seo Yutae had handled things properly, none of this would’ve happened in the first place]
I startled slightly, my shoulders jolting, and clumsily managed to lift myself up.
I wasn’t sure if my body was actually in better shape than I thought, or if it was just that the rush of stress hormones was dulling the pain, but I got up much faster than I’d expected.
I wasn’t sure why it startled me so much. I simply sprang up, as if being chased by something, and frantically glanced around.
Then, I happened to see the clock across the room.
It felt like an eternity, perhaps 30 minutes, had already gone by within me since I fell off the stage. Yet, reality didn’t seem to agree. My eyes landed on the hour hand, which hadn’t even made a full turn since the fall. I must have gotten up the moment I hit the floor.
“Seungbeom-ssi!”
Drawn by a voice calling my name, I turned toward the stage and saw a crowd of startled staff rushing towards me all at once. For a moment, that scene looked to me like a huge wave crashing straight at me.
It was just a simple fall on the stage, but because of me, the matter was getting blown way out of proportion.
This is enough.
I didn’t want the situation to escalate any further.
‘…Please,’
If it just gets a little quieter, I can get back to normal on my own.
If you just act like I’m not here, I’ll be fine soon.
Despite my current state, I was aware enough to know that if I blurted out the words stuck on the tip of my tongue, I’d look truly strange. So, I firmly closed my mouth, which had been open all this time, handling my breathing. Then, sticky saliva tangled in my throat and at the root of my tongue, choking me and making my stomach turn.
“Are you hurt?”
“There’s a hospital nearby, so with the manager…….”
I muttered, “I’m fine. You don’t have to come to me”, and shook my head, but they didn’t stop. Maybe it was too noisy inside the venue for them to hear me, or maybe they just didn’t want to listen.
With my body stiff and rigid, I started to step back hesitantly. Then I said again,
“I’m fine … I’m really okay. Please don’t come any closer.”
But they didn’t stop this time either.
In the end, I backed away once again, a distance laughably small compared to how close they had gotten.
It wasn’t that I wanted to move away by only that much.
It was just that the distance I could move right now was exactly that much.
The moment I squeezed my eyes shut at that realization, a loud noise suddenly struck right behind my head.
“Seungbeom-ah!”
“Han Seungbeom!”
“Seungbeom-ah, are you okay?”
It was the voices of fans.
I flinched in surprise and turned to look at them, my pupils trembling. Then, feeling a piercing pain in my eardrum, I covered one ear and staggered in place for a moment.
[Please, I really hope Yutae didn’t see those strange posts. Those aren’t his fans… I know how much Yutae cherishes the people who like him and how diligently he tries to listen to his fans, so I’m even more worried]
[Please don’t lump me together with those people]
Ah, that’s right. The farther I got from the stage, the closer I naturally became to the fans. It was really funny that I had forgotten such a basic fact.
As soon as the fans noticed I was close, they started pouring out all their concerns.
“Seungbeom-ah, you hit your waist on the stage equipment earlier, didn’t you? You bumped into the corner. Are you hurt?”
“What about your head? Did you hit your head when you fell?”
“Thank goodness your face is unharmed.”
“Go to the hospital! Hurry!”
A barrage of questions and shouts hit me all at once, far more than I could handle. My breath caught in my throat, and in the brief moment I turned my head, I saw that the staff who had been approaching were now truly right in front of me.
…At this rate, I would be trapped between the fans and the staff, unable to move.
I was paralyzed by a fear I couldn’t explain. Not knowing what else to do, I bent at the waist toward the fans, bowing so low my head nearly touched the floor.
“…I’m sorry for disappointing you. You came all this way to support us, but … I’m so sorry. I’m truly sorry.”
The reason people wouldn’t leave me alone right now was probably because I seemed like someone who needed help. If that was the case, then the most efficient way to escape this distressing situation would be to make myself appear as normal as possible.
And after mulling over the fans’ words—telling me again and again to go to the hospital—I finally turned back to the staff and spoke.
“Excuse me for a moment, I’ll go to the hospital. I’m really sorry for the inconvenience I’ve caused.”
The words left my mouth in a steadier voice than I expected, and I could sense the atmosphere in the venue ease just a little. I don’t quite remember what the fans or the staff said in response, just that as soon as I heard something that sounded like approval, I quickly slipped away to the backstage area, where the lights couldn’t reach.
“Haaa, ha … huuh.”
I walked briskly, putting on the appearance of being completely fine, until I was out of the crowded area. The second I found a secluded spot, I leaned against the wall with one hand and actually started running. I hadn’t done much, yet it felt like all my energy had been drained.
‘Manager, where’s the manager? I need to contact the company as soon as possible…….’
I felt lost; everything was confusing.
The very fact that I felt such emotions while looking at the fans supporting me was deeply shocking and filled me with guilt. It didn’t feel like me. It felt like I wasn’t myself anymore.
‘If I wait in the van, maybe the manager will come.’
With that ridiculous excuse, I slowly dragged myself toward the parking lot.
Maybe I just wanted to run away to a place where there were no people.
“…….”
When I actually arrived at the parking lot, there really was no one there. Pantheion’s van was, of course, still in the spot where it had been parked, but what was the point of coming here if there was no one to drive it?
‘Phone…….’
I realized it too late and hurriedly reached into my pocket, but of course, there was no way someone who had gone on stage would still have their phone on them.
I was finally forced to face just how ridiculous I looked; standing all alone in the parking lot with nothing. My legs gave way, and I collapsed into the narrow space between two parked cars, curling up where I sat.
It was because the pain, which I hadn’t felt at all just moments ago, suddenly came crashing in like a tidal wave, making it hard even to stay on my feet. And now, even this empty parking lot felt overwhelming to my hypersensitive state. The screech of tires, the distinct mix of paint and dust in the air, even the blinking lights of the car alarms; all of it was eating away at my nerves.
‘F**k, seriously…….’
My body started to tremble. I didn’t know if it was from the cold or from being stupidly scared, but desperate to stop it, I grabbed the van’s tire wheel like it was my only anchor. There was nothing else around to hold onto.
But despite that, the trembling didn’t stop.
‘…Please, stop trembling!’
Just as my body began to shake violently, almost like a seizure, someone suddenly grabbed my arm tightly from behind.
“Let go!”
Startled by the sudden contact, I frantically tried to shake off that hand, but it pulled my arm down with even greater force. Then, beneath the strong pressure of the arm pressing against my whole body, I exhaled in shallow gasps. As time passed and my breathing gradually slowed, the person who had been holding me silently all along spoke in a low voice.
“…Calm down.”
…Who is it?
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Translator’s Corner:
“I’m so sick of all these toxic fans and akgaes run wild in Sera’s space“. I can’t put footnotes for this, but toxic fans here is actually 까빠 (kkappa), a fan who criticizes their idol while claiming to be a fan; often acts like an anti-fan. Meanwhile, akgaes is 악개 (akgae), a malicious solo stan who only supports one member and attacks the other members.
If you’re wondering where is Pantheion not chasing after him when ‘Han Seungbeom’ running off the stage …. me too …. I’m wondering too … the author really spared no effort in showing the distance between them emotionally…..
Boys Planet S2 released their first batch of trainee reveal, and Veryvery Kangmin is there … his profile picture is really handsome. In Korean forums, they’re already congratulating his debut in advance…. I found survival show stan lowkey crazy because everyone suddenly supporting him and cheering for his debut (just for one profile pic) … like … where do you guys all this time … his group is already 7 years old (they debuted in 2018. wow i guess he’s not going to renew his contract / jellyfish going to disband them, that’s why he suddenly joined), and he even used to be a music show mc ….
Well, I think Boys Planet 2 will have a lot familiar faces a.k.a already debuted idol. I still wish there’s a new, refreshing, talented trainee though … Mnet definitely going to put the “We’re not going to rig this show” disclaimer like in S1, but honestly, what’s the point of not rigging votes when it’s obvious which trainees are being pushed for debut …. in S1, all trainees who debuted in ZB1 were obviously PD Pick lineup,,,,,
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